Saturday, 13 April 2013

My Dishwasher Hates Me

For Shame!
The above is my attempt to shame my dishwasher as it has taken on an active role in making my life a miserable, waking nightmare from H.E. double heck!

Me:  *standing over a steaming sink of dishes, madly scrubbing* "Grumble, grumble..."
Evil Dishwasher:  *snicker*  "Remember when you got me two-and-a-half years ago?"
Me:  "Shutup."
Evil Dishwasher:  *snort!*  "Yeah, remember how much money I cost?"
Me:  *Holds knife up*  "Shutup."
Evil Dishwasher:  "And how many times have I broken down since then?  Two, three...."
Me: *glares
Evil Dishwasher:  "Oh, that's right, Four.  Four times I've broken down!
Me:  *glares*
Evil Dishwasher:  "BWAAAHAAAHAAAAA!!!!  Sucker."

Unfortunately, this is not an exaggeration.  Okay, well, the dishwasher talking to me is a bit of a stretch, but the freaking thing has actually broken down four times in just over two years.  The good news is, the manufactuerer has paid for the repairs.  The bad news is, I seem to be the only one in my household of five, who is knowledgeable in the fine art of hand-washing dishes.  So yeah.  Weee bit 'o inconvenience for me. 

This past incident, however, takes the proverbial cake, and maybe a croissant too.  Usually, the part that they replace (and it has been the same freaking part, EVERY time) takes a few days to order and I have a working dishwasher again in about a week.  THIS time, they decide that maybe, juuuust maybe, replacing that same part is not working (and I thought genius was dead...) so they decide to replace that particular part AND another part.  Great.  Sounds good to me.  One of those parts, however, is on back order.  Estimated date of arrival?  Over one month!  That's right.  You heard me correctly boys and girls.  I am going to be hand-washing freaking dishes for over a month!  Oh, but wait!  The lovely customer service rep tells me I have a couple of options.  One, I can wait for the part to come in and they will compensate me for my time to the tune of $200.  Well okay...  Or, I can take what's behind door number two, which I like to refer to as the "Donkey Option".  This is to replace my donkey dishwasher, with a brand new donkey dishwasher, and I only have to pay them the wonderful, pro-rated price of just over $600! 

Um...I'll be expecting my check in the mail.  Hopefully my hands won't be too cracked and dry and sore to open the envelope.  Maybe I can use the money on some lotion. 

Stay tuned.


  1. You do realize that this is why you had the offspring in the first place right? So you have to put up with some less than perfectly clean dishes for a bit....time to put those 6 hands to work!!! Tell them Aunty says it builds character! lol

  2. I'm with "Aunty"! We will not give you permission to mention the word "dishwasher" unless it is in the context of, ""My 3 human dishwashers are so appreciative of my having suffered through 4, 000 hours of excruciatingly hard labour to give them life that they plead with me to let them take over the joyous job of cleaning up!", or maybe just threatening to stop producing homemade baked goods is the way to go! In any case, kick that evil dishwasher for me, will ya? PS. It's "sentencing" (snicker")!

    1. You win the prize! A personal "date" with me for coffee tomorrow morning at 9:00. :)

    2. Woohoo! I'll be waiting - with bells on!